Trading In Your Big-Deal Job

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The Big-Deal Job

It is the back-to-school season.  With my youngest daughter, we are up to our ears in AP course choices, studying for SATs and planning the Junior Year College tour. With my eldest daughter, we are at the other ‘end’, planning for life as an Ivy League post-graduate.
The rat race is on.  And apparently it just gets hotter and hotter and starts earlier and earlier.
The end goal?
To get a Big-Deal Job that will pay you a Big-Deal Salary.
The First Round of the Big-Deal marathon is to ensure your kid get into the ‘right’ university.  To do this, your child needs to break his back to get a 4.0 GPA (or is now a 5.0?) and pad his extra-curricular time with endless swim meets, ballet recitals or tuba lessons.   But that’s just the warm-up.  Once they get into university, the Big-Deal stakes just get hotter: ruthless grade competitions, insidious expensive internships where kids pay for the privilege of working for free, and endless fretting about graduate schools and/or the Job after college.

Why The Big-Deal Job Strategy Is Flawed

But the Big-Deal syndrome is clearly flawed.
I know.
I graduated from Stanford University, one of the Biggest-Deal universities on the planet.  I had had my share of Big-Deal jobs including my last ‘real job in Paris running the European headquarters of one of the world’s biggest advertising agencies.
It took me a while to figure out was that my Big-Deal Job did not equate into a Big-Deal Life.

Why Searching For A Big-Deal Life Is Much Better

A Big-Deal Life, as opposed to the Big-Deal Job, is infinitely multi-dimensional. A Big-Deal Life still needs money to keep it flowing but it honors many more values including independence, self-expression, family, health, creativity, exploration, giving and compassion.
The only way I could figure out how to create a Big-Deal Life was to go out on my own and run my own company.  I have been doing this now for over 18 years and have never looked back once.
Has it all been an easy road?  No way.  But through thick and thin, I knew that I was building my own dreams, not breaking my back to build someone else’s.   It has offered me the priceless ability to be there for my kids when I needed them.  It has allowed me to blend my ‘private’ and ‘public’ selves seamlessly together so at the end I simply live a Life.

The Key To Having A Big-Deal Life

Being an entrepreneur is the key to having a Big-Deal Life.  It is so much more than ‘running your own business’.  It is a lifestyle and a mentality which gives you the greatest gift of all; the gift of controlling your own destiny.

Letting Go

Letting Go

The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don’t want. ~Iyanla Vanzant

Yesterday, I did something I had never done before.  I wrapped up a little package in simple brown paper. Inside was a photo of a person who has been ‘fighting’ with me for years and who has been occupying a lot of space in my life, my head and my spirit.

I took the package, went to my garden and buried it.   A small act that very well may change the course of my life.

For the first time in my life, I was genuinely ‘letting go’.

Ironically, the path to reinvention is often not about ‘adding something’ but actually removing it.  In common day parlance, it is called ‘letting go’.  

Letting go –of a feeling, of a habit, of resentment- is an absolute necessity if you want to move on in life and enjoy it to its fullest potential.

Letting go is important at all phases of our lives but is imperative if, at 50 something, we hope to reinvent and reinvigorate our lives.

 What Does Letting Go Mean?

To ‘let go’ means to relinquish whatever it is that is holding you back in life: a habit, a way of thinking, or a person.  To ‘let go’ means to no longer be tied down to the regrets of the past but to grow and live for the future.   To ‘let go’ is an active decision to make the most of yourself.

“Letting go” is the ultimate paradox.  To let go is to relinquish power and to no longer control someone or something. You become ‘powerless’ in order to gain true power. You ‘remove’ the negative, to ‘gain the positive.  By letting you, you have more by controlling less.

Letting go means to basically give up on a hurt or anger or hostility that has been dragging you down and forces you to continue to live in the past. The only way to move forward is to leave behind whatever is making you hurt or angry.

Why is letting go is so important?

If you keep hanging on to the hurt, the resentment and the anger, it can ultimately have dire consequences.  At any time of our lives, it can lead to depression, addiction and eating disorders.  In middle age, it will hold you back from getting on with all the positive things life has in store for you.

Letting go (particularly of anger) is the ultimate act of kindness to yourself…not the person you are upset with. .  When you forgive someone or at least let the hurt fade away, don’t forget you are not letting them ‘win’, you are healing yourself.